This is not a political blog. I have no desire to rant and rattle on about my political views and why you should or should not vote for this one, that one, or the third one who really shouldn't even be running because he's just mucking up the chances of the second one. There are plenty of blogs exactly like that, though, so if that's the horse you want to ride, well, do a search and saddle up, cowboy.

This is not a blog about the short-comings of the American education system or the stupidity of the next ( or any) generation. If you think the school system failed you and you can still read this, then congratulations,Kilroy! You managed to rise above it. Kudos to you.

This is absolutely not an anti-American blog. I may have named it "Stupid America", but as corny as it sounds, I really do love this country. I will, however, admit I am often embarrassed by it. I just don't understand how a country that once gave us Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison, Sojourner Truth and Walt Whitman could now be serving up Real Housewives, teen vampires, info-mercials, Humvee limousines and all things Kardashian. Where, exactly, did we go off-script? This blog is my journal of musings on American culture and mores as I try to find some answers.

Friday, February 18, 2011

I'm "It"

I've been "tagged" by Nikki at My Cyberhouse Rules ( which you can check out here:, so, do that.)

So that means I'm "It", just like the lovely Clara Bow. ( if you don't know what I mean, please educate yourself: Well, I always knew I was "It", so it's nice to finally get some damn validation. And I have a little Q&A to get to now, since I'm "It".   I thought it might be fun to make this a mostly visual thing, with the occasional sentence of explanation thrown in when a picture alone might not be enough. So, without further ado...

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family? 

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be? 

3. What is the one thing most hated by you? 

4. What would you do with a billion dollars? 


                                   or maybe...

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?  

Hmm. Not sure either is so blessed. WIth love comes a lot of pain. But we do keep taking our chances, don't we...

7. What is your bedtime routine?


                                                                followed by....

                                                            Then, of course....


                                                               and finally, 

              until I'm so exhausted I literally just collapse into bed. I know, I know, I'm boring. 

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner? 

 N/A, since I'm not currently with anyone. But I plan to meet my next partner in the Crystal Palace at the Great Exhibition of 1851.  I'll be the one in the crinoline. 

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

10. What kinds of books do you read?

                                                         (That would be library books, kids )

11. Where do you see yourself in ten years time?



12. What’s your fear? 



                                                                and especially.....

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space? 

                           Judging by the photo evidence I've found, I won't have to. 

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor? 

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? 

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?

I could resort to black comedy right now, but I won't. I'll just say, "N/A"

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be? 
                                 "Lady Fantastica Queen Elizabetta Montoya". Of course.            


18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?  

                                                            That's easy.  Food. 

*Question #11 has been edited. It originally read, "How would you see yourself in ten years". And the answer to THAT would be: 

Now, in order to complete the tagging process...I can share the blog taggy-ness with four others, those I think may give it the old college try. And so I shall: I tag thee, I tag thee, I tag thee: 
Sunny from
and THEE, Rache, from, so get your patoot in gear.
 I tag thee, as well, Barreness, at , because I am curious as hell to see your answers to some of these seemingly innocuous questions. 
And I tag THEE, Gillian, at, because I am so glad you have started writing on your blog again, and maybe you can have some fun with this. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go speak like a Nantucket Quaker circa 1849 for the rest of the evening. Avast! Good day and good morrow to ye all! 

Monday, February 14, 2011

To All The Boys I've Loved Before

  I've loved you all. Friends and boyfriends, lovers and perfect strangers. I've loved you for a minute, or an hour, or days or months or years. I think of you occasionally or often, and I say your name fondly, unless I don't quite recall it, or never even knew it. But I've loved you, none the less. Each one of you has shone your light on the bright side of my life, and so, on this Valentine's Day, I want to thank you and tell you when I knew love was here to stay, at least for the blink of an eye.

         I knew I loved you that day in June when you casually rested your hand on my knee  on the drive out to Herring Cove beach. I knew I loved you when we were crossing 5th Avenue and you put your hand protectively at the small of my back, to usher me safely through traffic.  I knew I loved you the first time I heard you play your viola. I knew I loved you when you took my hand and led me through the dark woods, because the moon had been overrun by clouds and I couldn't see well enough to find my own way. I knew I loved you in first grade when you were the Professor and I was Ginger during our game of  "Gilligan's Island" at recess.  I knew I loved you when you were in the mood for Indian and I was in the mood for sushi, and....we went out for sushi. I knew I loved you that Harvard-Yale weekend when you did the propeller dance to "The Tide is High"  at that Lampoon party.  I knew I loved you when I found myself wondering how you'd ever get out of that carbonite.
        I knew it was true love when you pulled me back as we walked down by City Hall one night, because you saw a rat scamper across the sidewalk ahead of us. I knew I loved you when we were fifteen and you nervously grabbed my hand in the European Paintings section of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I knew I loved you when I saw you that day on the bus and you looked so much like a young Denzel Washington I had to do a double take. I knew I loved you when I saw you looked so handsome in your uniform. I knew I loved you when you shared your umbrella with me, all the way down to 41st Street, which was out of your way. I knew our love was meant to be the moment I heard Scully say, "Agent Mulder believes we are not alone". I knew I loved you in summer camp when you asked me to dance, despite my unfortunate attempt at curling my hair.
       I knew I loved you the second time you won the World Series. It was definitely love in San Francisco when you left the bar earlier than the rest of us, and when we got home we found you listening to Parliament while carpet-sweeping the rugs in your underwear. I knew I loved you when you took time out of your incredibly busy day to call me back and give me advice and information. I knew I loved you when you hung out the window to serenade the whole quad during what should have been a fire drill.  My heart sang out with love when you gave me a 3-D postcard of parrots in a home-made red and gold macaroni shell frame for my 20th birthday. I knew I loved you when we cut school and spent the whole day hanging out in Central Park. I knew I loved you when the towers fell and I was frantic because you weren't answering your phone and I didn't know where you were, and I knew again when I finally reached you.
        I knew I loved you the minute I first saw you, because you were the most beautiful boy I had ever seen, in all my eighteen long years. It was true love forever when I saw you playing with dry leaves in the yard, and my mother said, "We have to catch that kitten and bring him inside! He can't stay out there, it's going to get cold soon.". I knew it was love when I heard you say, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn". I loved you for sure when you got back out of the cab so you could kiss me one more time, in the middle of the night, in the middle of Flatbush  Avenue. I knew I loved you that time down in Georgetown when you draped your arm around me like you'd known me for years, even though we'd met just days before.
         I loved you most definitely when you offered me your seat on the subway the time I was wearing those really cute sling backs that were murder on my feet. I knew I loved you that snowy night in Old Montreal, with all the little white lights making the streets into a fairyland. I knew I loved you when we were crammed into the car with four other people but it felt like it was just the two of us. I knew I loved you when we would sit together in the back during those obligatory Classics receptions and break into the wine during the more boring lectures.  I knew it had to be love when you spent three hours trying to fix my car and somehow made it even worse. It was love when you rescued me from that boring, crowded party in TribeCa and gave me a ride home, in the limo! I loved you truly when you said you had to be home by midnight, but stayed 'til 4 because we were all having so much fun. I knew it was love when you gave me your brand new Beastie Boys CD, just because I said I wanted to listen to it. I knew I loved you when I watched you finally tie the knot with your boyfriend of so many years.  I knew I loved you when you told me you loved me. Thank you all for walking through my life, sometimes for a minute, sometimes forever, and making it that much more special.

 I do like Valentine's Day. So much strife in the world, it's nice to have at least one day devoted to love. I don't have a Valentine this year, and I didn't have one last year either. I don't want a Valentine right now, it's not the right time for me. But maybe some day I'll have one again, and I can buy him an unabashedly sentimental card and maybe a nice little gift, and he can send me flowers and take me out for a romantic meal. And the world will be pink and white and red and full of roses and sappy love songs and date movies for a day, and that will be just fine. I'll love that.

Hubba Hubba